Christie Bacon Dippers & Kraft Bacon Ranch

Tasting them, just by themselves, it just tastes like a salty cracker. Going in blind, I would not think that these are bacon flavoured. That said, for crackers... they're good. Crispy—solid—I can see putting like cheese on them or something.

Yeah, I'm not getting much bacon with my cracker...

No, even smelling it, it doesn't smell like bacon, it doesn't taste like bacon, it doesn't look like bacon. It looks like—in terms of ingredients, the closest thing they have to bacon in here is artificial smoke flavour, with a lot of shit in brackets after that. *laughs*

It's definitely got a hint of smoke; but that's really muted by the overall cracker.

And that's us searching for it.


It's clear that they say, 'Ideal for Dipping'... oh, I should take a closeup shot of that.

I should get that tattooed on my dick.

What should you get tattooed on your dick? 'Ideal for Dipping', or 'I should get a closeup shot of that'?

Haha, both. I'd need a much stronger zoom lens, though.

They were bad when I ate the stolen ones. They're bad now that I'm having the ones I'm allowed to eat. I concur with Adam on this. And they don't look like bacon...

These crackers make me sad...

They're a depressing cracker.

I'm just saying, we shouldn't serve this at our wedding.


I think if we put like, the bacon ranch, and cheese, and bacon, it would make a good snack; but that's not so much the bacon.

I mean, even stoned, these aren't very good. Salty, crunchy things are always good when you're stoned, but these aren't. I'm probably going to get cancer from these.


Yeah, that's what happens when stoners eat something that makes them sad; they get cancer.

I'm actually pleasantly surprised by the bacon ranch.

Yeah, it's pretty good. I don't even like ranch; but it's pretty good.

It's got real bacon in it, which gives it real bacon flavour.

Yeah, it's funny how real bacon gives things the flavour of real bacon.

But, like, if you took one of these and you add some ranch, and a slice of smoked cheddar, and some bacon on it, it would be really good.

Okay, but once you put bacon and smoked cheddar together, your mouth is just going to cum, anyways. That's a straight-up mouthgasm.


So, basically, these crackers make good platforms for putting good things on.

Yeah, they're decent food conveyances, but that's about it.

Yeah, like an edible spoon.

Calling them 'Bacon Dippers' though, I call bullshit.

I don't know. I'm getting a lot of bacon now; and I don't know if that's just the ranch, or like the smokey flavour in the cracker accenting the bacon of the ranch.

Well, maybe that's why they're called 'Bacon Dippers'.

That's what I'm saying, man; once you add bacon, it activates the fake bacon in the Bacon Dippers.

You know what we should do? We'll save some of these for later and when we get more bacon made, we'll try exactly what I said, with the bacon and the cheese and the ranch. I mean they're advertising them right in the name that they shouldn't stand alone, so we should review it as such.

But, really, if they didn't want you to eat them alone, they should tell you with something to put on top of it with the package.

Like those terrible sticks with the shitty cheese?

Oh yeah.

Man, I fucking love those.

Me too.

Oh yeah, man, I would just eat the 'cheese'.

Yeah, I'd just use one or two of the sticks and eat all the cheese.

They had the cracker ones and the stick ones, and I always preferred the stick ones.

I preferred the cracker ones because I would take one cracker and put all the fucking cheese on just one cracker. It was soooo good, and sometimes you could make a little sammich! Oh man, with bacon...that's totally what we should do.

Sometimes, at Superstore (a grocery store), they have them on sale for like 69 cents for a 3-pack, and I just start fucking chucking them in my cart, and parents walk by with kids saying, 'Oooh, we can have those for lunch!'...'no- fuck off!' and I keep throwing them in my cart. Like Mel chasing kids away from video games she wants.

Whatever, man; that kid had it coming.


Yeah, this is good. Like, I say the bacon ranch...what's it called?

Uh, bacon ranch. Bacon ranch avec bacon...that's what makes it so bacony; it comes with the 'avec bacon'.

The bacon ranch dressing is better than I thought; I really like it. Some romaine lettuce, some cheese, some know, bacon, and this dressing.

Yeah, it would set off the bacon in the, salad.

Would the dog eat them?

Yes, yes he would.


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