Christie Bacon Dippers & Kraft Bacon Ranch

[sc:adam][sc:bubble content=”Tasting them, just by themselves, it just tastes like a salty cracker. Going in blind, I would not think that these are bacon flavoured. That said, for crackers… they’re good. Crispy—solid—I can see putting like cheese on them or something.”] [sc:allen][sc:bubble content=”Yeah, I’m not getting much bacon with my cracker… “] [sc:adam][sc:bubble content=”No, even smelling it, it doesn’t smell like bacon, it doesn’t taste like bacon, it doesn’t look like bacon. It looks like—in terms of ingredients, the closest thing they have to bacon in here is artificial smoke flavour, with a lot of shit in brackets after that. *laughs*”] [sc:allen][sc:bubble content=”It’s definitely got a hint of smoke; but that’s really muted by the overall cracker.”] [sc:adam][sc:bubble content=”And that’s us searching for it.”] [sc:allen][sc:bubble content=”Yeah.”] [sc:adam][sc:bubble content=”It’s clear that they say, ‘Ideal for Dipping’… oh, I should take a closeup shot of that.”] [sc:adam][sc:bubble content=”I should get that tattooed on my dick.”] [sc:allen][sc:bubble content=”What should you get tattooed on your dick? ‘Ideal for Dipping’, or ‘I should get a closeup shot of that’?”] [sc:adam][sc:bubble content=”Haha, both. I’d need a much stronger zoom lens, though.”] [sc:mel][sc:bubble content=”They were bad when I ate the stolen ones. They’re bad now that I’m having the ones I’m allowed to eat. I concur with Adam on this. And they don’t look like bacon…”] [sc:mel][sc:bubble content=”These crackers make me sad…”] [sc:adam][sc:bubble content=”They’re a depressing cracker.”] [sc:mel][sc:bubble content=”I’m just saying, we shouldn’t serve this at our wedding.”]


[sc:adam][sc:bubble content=”I think if we put like, the bacon ranch, and cheese, and bacon, it would make a good snack; but that’s not so much the bacon.”] [sc:mel][sc:bubble content=”I mean, even stoned, these aren’t very good. Salty, crunchy things are always good when you’re stoned, but these aren’t. I’m probably going to get cancer from these.”] [sc:adam][sc:bubble content=”Cancer?”] [sc:mel][sc:bubble content=”Yeah, that’s what happens when stoners eat something that makes them sad; they get cancer.”] [sc:adam][sc:bubble content=”I’m actually pleasantly surprised by the bacon ranch.”] [sc:mel][sc:bubble content=”Yeah, it’s pretty good. I don’t even like ranch; but it’s pretty good.”] [sc:allen][sc:bubble content=”It’s got real bacon in it, which gives it real bacon flavour.”] [sc:mel][sc:bubble content=”Yeah, it’s funny how real bacon gives things the flavour of real bacon.”] [sc:adam][sc:bubble content=”But, like, if you took one of these and you add some ranch, and a slice of smoked cheddar, and some bacon on it, it would be really good.”] [sc:allen][sc:bubble content=”Okay, but once you put bacon and smoked cheddar together, your mouth is just going to cum, anyways. That’s a straight-up mouthgasm.”]


[sc:adam][sc:bubble content=”So, basically, these crackers make good platforms for putting good things on.”] [sc:allen][sc:bubble content=”Yeah, they’re decent food conveyances, but that’s about it.”] [sc:adam][sc:bubble content=”Yeah, like an edible spoon.”] [sc:adam][sc:bubble content=”Calling them ‘Bacon Dippers’ though, I call bullshit.”] [sc:allen][sc:bubble content=”I don’t know. I’m getting a lot of bacon now; and I don’t know if that’s just the ranch, or like the smokey flavour in the cracker accenting the bacon of the ranch.”] [sc:adam][sc:bubble content=”Well, maybe that’s why they’re called ‘Bacon Dippers’.”] [sc:mel][sc:bubble content=”That’s what I’m saying, man; once you add bacon, it activates the fake bacon in the Bacon Dippers.”] [sc:adam][sc:bubble content=”You know what we should do? We’ll save some of these for later and when we get more bacon made, we’ll try exactly what I said, with the bacon and the cheese and the ranch. I mean they’re advertising them right in the name that they shouldn’t stand alone, so we should review it as such.”] [sc:mel][sc:bubble content=”But, really, if they didn’t want you to eat them alone, they should tell you with something to put on top of it with the package.”] [sc:allen][sc:bubble content=”Like those terrible sticks with the shitty cheese? “] [sc:mel][sc:bubble content=”Oh yeah.”] [sc:allen][sc:bubble content=”Man, I fucking love those.”] [sc:adam][sc:bubble content=”Me too.”] [sc:mel][sc:bubble content=”Oh yeah, man, I would just eat the ‘cheese’. “] [sc:allen][sc:bubble content=”Yeah, I’d just use one or two of the sticks and eat all the cheese.”] [sc:adam][sc:bubble content=”They had the cracker ones and the stick ones, and I always preferred the stick ones.”] [sc:mel][sc:bubble content=”I preferred the cracker ones because I would take one cracker and put all the fucking cheese on just one cracker. It was soooo good, and sometimes you could make a little sammich! Oh man, with bacon…that’s totally what we should do.”] [sc:allen][sc:bubble content=”Sometimes, at Superstore (a grocery store), they have them on sale for like 69 cents for a 3-pack, and I just start fucking chucking them in my cart, and parents walk by with kids saying, ‘Oooh, we can have those for lunch!’…’no- fuck off!’ and I keep throwing them in my cart. Like Mel chasing kids away from video games she wants.”] [sc:mel][sc:bubble content=”Whatever, man; that kid had it coming.”]


[sc:adam][sc:bubble content=”Yeah, this is good. Like, I say the bacon ranch…what’s it called?”] [sc:mel][sc:bubble content=”Uh, bacon ranch. Bacon ranch avec bacon…that’s what makes it so bacony; it comes with the ‘avec bacon’.”] [sc:adam][sc:bubble content=”The bacon ranch dressing is better than I thought; I really like it. Some romaine lettuce, some cheese, some actual…you know, bacon, and this dressing.”] [sc:allen][sc:bubble content=”Yeah, it would set off the bacon in the sandwich…er, salad.”]

Would the dog eat them?

[sc:dog][sc:bubble content=”Yes, yes he would.”]


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