The Great Bacon Meal
This is really good. I'm just super happy to be eating right now.
The salad has like a mild bacon flavour.
But it's really good.
Did you buy a bacon vinaigrette?
No, I made it. I had maple vinegar that Mel bought me, and instead of olive oil I used bacon fat, then I cut up a strip of bacon and mixed it in as well.
It's really good.
It's a lot smoother than a lot of vinegar dressings, like it's not really tart.
I also put in a tiny bit of mustard to hold it together.
Yeah about this, when it cools it's going to set because of the bacon fat.
Oh yeah, but it's not going to stop me from eating it tomorrow.
Yeah, he won't stop eating because it looks like this.
*Chokes* *coughs* *hammers on chest*
Adam, you have to chew it.
The vegetables are killing Adam.
*Wheeze* too much greens *cough*.
We don't normally have vegetables with our bacon dinners.
But after last week's sunday...
Yeah, you almost died.
It was rough.
For the salad, I wouldn't want that to be the primary source of bacon for the meal, but it makes a good accoutrement.
It's a good bacon pairing. You get the hint of bacon to warm you up for the amount of bacon you're having in the rest of the meal.
You know, sometime we should count how many times we say bacon in one of these meals.
You know what's really fun? When there's someone you don't like, or there's someone who has like an issue they're having they won't deal with... You email them, and lets say they're afraid of goats, and then you put 'goats goats goats goats goats goats goats' in white text at the end of the email then Google will start putting goats ads whenever they go to Google things.
You are a terrible human being.
Alright, I'm going to start trying the rice now.
Mmm, the rice is good.
Bacon and celery go really well together.
I'm surprised, I'm not getting a lot of bacon in there.
Well, I did put a bacon grease in there too.
Wow, these balls are really smokey.
Well, it is the double-smoked bacon. Thanks to, but not courtesy of -yet?- 2 boys.
Would they not give you bacon?
Well, I didn't ask.
You should ask them.
The only thing, I think, is that I would add more bacon bits to the rice. Other than that it's really, really good.
Though, to be fair, we used very little bacon today.
We only used two pounds of bacon today!
That's half as much as normal for bacon day.
The rice is amazing.
Thank you. It's Mel's original recipe. With bacon.
Oh man... These balls are just delicious.
Haaaaaah, that's what she said.
That's the first successful 'that's what she said' we've had!
No! I said it earlier! You just weren't listening to me.
It's on the tape! Rewind, you'll hear me!
I miss tapes...
They were horrible.
Wyatt has the largest collection of cassette tapes I've ever seen.
Uhhmm, none of them are mine.
What happened to your collection?
I gave them to my old roommate because he had a van that only took tapes.
Well that makes sense.
It was the colour of old blood.
...So the balls are, very smokey.
They're bordering for me on too much smoke. Like, if I were to re-make the recipe, I would use half the amount of double-smoked. I find this a lot of flavour. It's bordering on shoe-polish.
If you really like smokey, it's great. Otherwise it's perhaps a little too much *cuts a piece of his meatball and it falls on the floor* AAAHH NOOOOOO. Well. that's for Heineken.
It kinda tastes like pepperoni. I think that's just from the double smoked bacon that it tastes like that.
It does! Are there spices in it?
Well, this is just double-smoked bacon, an equal amount of ground pork, some granulated garlic and onion, black pepper, and cayenne pepper.
I must say I really like this. It does kinda taste like pepperoni but it's really good. If someone asked me what the mystery ingredient was, though, I'd say pepperoni.
Yeah, like, you could put these meatball things on a menu.
But you do sort of have to eat them on their own. I don't know what they'd be like with any sort of sauce.
Actually, you know, to be honest, a like - sweet bbq sauce.. You could use like a maple BBQ sauce.
*Gets up and goes to the fridge.*
Allen's going for... the honey mustard.
I'm going for honey and regular.. actually, neither of these are honey.
You should get the motherfucking maple syrup.
I'm thinking a maple BBQ sauce instead of maple bacon. Just coat them in the bbq sauce.
*Returning to the table* I bring you, maple BBQ sauce!
I think the mustard would be too much.
It's all taste.
I don't know, the mustard was good on the BLT for sort of cutting through some of the grease.
I also think that pairing the bacon with the @lemondogs lemonade was a really good idea last time.
And that is why our event is going to be sponsored by @lemondogs.
With the maple BBQ sauce it is amazing.
With straight-up maple syrup...
With whole grain dijon mustard... it is amazing!
Think about it, it's practically ham.
*Eating a meatball with maple syrup* OH MY FUCK.
I'm willing to share this with people, so you know.
It is really good in the BBQ sauce.
*Tries part of Mel's balls* Oh my god. No man, the maple syrup... it's amazing. Wow maple syrup, you save the day again.
*Also mowing down on Mel's meat* Wow. Yeah, that was pretty fucking sweet with the maple syrup.
Hmm, the maple sort of cuts down on the smokey pepperoni flavour.
Wow. I just ate all that bacon and I don't feel like I'm going to die. This was really successful.
We're improving, slowly... we're killing ourselves once a week.
Plus, the way that we ate it, with the salad - just a hint of bacony flavour - then the rice - just a little bit heavier - and then the bacon balls... it's a natural progression.
The bacon balls... definitely really good. Actually, all of this, was really good.
Of all the things, the bacon-wrapped turkey was the best.
The sandwich was good, too.
The sandwich was something I would eat if I was going to go on Survivor.
Honestly, if we did the sandwich again with thinner bread and only one weave...
There were multiple weaves on that?!
Yeah, it was double-weave.
There was two pounds of bacon on the sandwich.
That explains why we felt so shitty afterwards.
Woaaah... this is making more sense.
Yeah, yeah. Two pounds of bacon on that sandwich.
So, it would have to be regular bread as opposed to that giant roll we keep buying.
Or, what you could do is, take the roll and scoop most of the bread out of the inside and put the stuff inside and then squish it under some heavy stuff.
Okay, okay, I have to do the questions for the sake of the thing... for the structure.
The structure of the non-show-show?
Yeah, it's just easier. We used to have the questions, then we sort of fell off...
So, what was your impression of the meal before you ate it?
It looked good. Good palatte to it. Definitely a lot of smokey bacon to it.
It had a lot of brown.
Yeah, well, green and brown.
I thought it looked really nice. It looked nicer than anything else we've eaten, with the exception of the Turkey Cheddar Bacon Jalapeno Roulades. Those were also very pretty.
How did it smell?
It smelled like Heaven.
I can't even tell what I'm smelling anymore. We've been cooking bacon in the same space as we're eating all day.
The bacon balls, I could smell them really strong, because they were up in my face.
The balls were up in your face.
Yeah, I was getting teabagged by the bacon balls.
Adam likes being teabagged.
You said you didn't do that anymore...
We already know how it tastes…
Ten bacons out of bacon.
Yeah, on the bacon scale, how many bacon strips out of ten?
I'm giving it ten because, overall, it was really really really good.
It was balanced.
Yeah! it was balanced. Now 10 bacon strips because it was like 'fuck, we just ate a pig' but because I feel like I can serve this to people and not have to run for an hour afterwards.
Yeah, it's not Epic Meal Time.
I didn't have to get stoned out of my shit to eat this meal.
Speaking of which, I'm sober and it's weird.
And you ate!
You ate! That was the hardest part of sobering up for me - learning to eat again.
I fucking agree. Holy shit.
Anyone experiencing chest pain?
Not even a belly twinge.
Will the dog eat it?
Heineken! Vien ici!
*To Wyatt* I told you the dog speaks French.
Will he eat the rice?
Motherfucker loves rice.
Yeah, he's eating the rice.
He won't eat the salad. Let's not even waste it.
No, he hates vegetables.
He did eat the guacamole with bacon.
The texture must be really weird for a dog.
He gets really excited on Sundays now- it's like he knows.
*Puts the salad down*
He's licking the hell out of the salad.
This is where we see doggie disappointment.
Oh my god, he's eating it.
It's probably just the bacon fat.
He looked at Adam sort of forlornly.
He is eating it.
He's disappointed, but he knows it'll make us happy. Huh, the dog even ate the salad.
I ate the meatball, I ate the rice... Hell, I even ate the salad! I FUCKING LOVE SUNDAYS!
Would you guys make this again?
Yeah, it was pretty simple to make - like the balls were just chopped-up bacon and more meat and some spices mixed all together.
I would serve this at the wedding.