Okay, so we have the Oberto Bacon Jerky in regular and jalapeño.
Product of USA.
Anything from the USA is good… right?
It’s made with natural ingredients.
I’m going for the regular bacon jerky…
Hah, everyone’s taking a small piece so I’m going to take a big piece. No. I'm only taking a small piece.
So... it tastes like bacon.
No! It tastes more like bacon bits. Like real bacon bits, not those shitty fake bacon bits that Freeman's Pizza puts on their clubhouse sandwich. You know, real bacon bits. Which still should not go on a sandwich.
Considering this just came out of a sealed bag, it's better than what I expected.
Now Mel's going to go for the jalapeno.
It tastes like cumin.
It tastes like two men?
CUMIN, coo-min. Cumin. It tastes like dirty feet. It smells like sweaty nuts. Wait... can I say that?
We'll find out!
No, you're fired.
Waaah god you're right it smells like... really nasty feet... like terrible B.O. Oh my god!
Yeah, it does taste better than it smells.
That's not the first time we've found that with some bacon products.
What? That it smells like dirty feet?
No, that it tastes better than it smells. Remember the hot chocolate?
You're right, but... holy shit... you're right, but that's not jalapeno. That's fucking cumin.
No that's taco flavour. Pure taco flavour. I like tacos so I'm down with it.
I like it better than the regular.
Well, it actually has flavour to it. If you don't smell it, it does have spices and flavourings. *Reads packet* Dehydrated onion, dehydrated garlic, chipotle pepper, jalapeno pepper, citric acid, tomato, pepper... cultured celery powder?
Time for another margarita.
It tastes really good if you chase it with margaritas.
I would gladly eat the jalapeno stuff regularly, it's pretty good. Just don't smell it.
Yeah; if you can avoid smelling it, it's pretty decent. I wouldn't say great, but compared to most jerkys that I've had, like, industrial jerky... this is pretty good.
The original stuff really does just taste like bacon. It's really just a piece of bacon. It's not the most flavourful bacon, it's really chewy, and the dog will definitely eat this. Jus' sayin.
Yeah, the regular stuff's ingredients just says: Bacon cured with water, sea salt, sugar, and celery powder.
The celery powder is a natural preservative.
Oh that makes sense, I thought it was kind of odd to see celery powder.
The jalapeno stuff I don't know...
Yeah I would eat this jerky again.
So, what are the questions we normally ask?
How did it smell?
The regular stuff smelled like bacon. The jalapeno bacon smelled like horrible B.O.. Like stinky-ass feet.
How did it taste?
Sort of like... stale bacon.
Mmm, definitely stale bacon.
It's like you're the guy who goes to the buffet at 5:30am and gets the bacon that nobody really tried too hard with.
The shitty undercooked flimsy bacon?
Yeah, because this stuff is dry but it still feels flimsy. Overall I like it, and I would eat it again.
The jalapeno stuff tasted sort of like bacon on tacos.
Yeah, I don't know. If I tried that again I would have to remember not to smell it, because the smell was a huge turn-off.
Okay, would you recommend it to anyone and in what circumstance?
I'd recommend the regular bacon jerky... I mean, if you want bacon jerky - that's what you get. The jalapeno jerky I would basically just warn them not to smell it.
This stuff could be good if it was chopped up and put on a salad.
I don’t remember any more questions…
Would the dog eat it?
The dog ate the regular jerky and began begging for more. He was a little more skeptical of the jalapeno stuff, but he enjoyed it.