Mr. Bacon’s Bacon Flavoured Toothpaste

[sc:al content=”Okay – toothpaste time.”] [sc:ap content=”*To Mel* now, before you brush your teeth, the rest of us should probably taste this.”] [sc:al content=”*To Mel* Woah, are you going to be the one to actually brush?”] [sc:m content=”Yeah.”] [sc:c content=”Uggh. It smells NASTY.”] [sc:c content=”It tastes… minty? But I didn’t get very much of it.”] [sc:w content=”That’s gross…”] [sc:ap content=”Oh God, the smell.”] [sc:c content=”The smell is rancid.”] [sc:al content=”Woaaah.”] [sc:ap content=”Alright… *eats some*”] [sc:ap content=”*winces and grimaces with disgust*”] [sc:al content=”AAHAHAHAHA! Either Allen is disgusted by it, or he’s having a stroke.”] [sc:al content=”I think the toothpaste has brought on a stroke.”] [sc:al content=”The smell.. the smell is just terrible.”] [sc:c content=”Mr. Bacon, what are you doing?”] [sc:al content=”Alright, here we go…”] [sc:ap content=”Do it!”] [sc:m content=”You should know, at this point that on the box it says ‘Not for human consumption.'”] [sc:c content=”Does it?”] [sc:al content=”*grimaces*”] [sc:m content=”Yes – we are not supposed to be eating this.”] [sc:c content=”Expiration date, April 2015.”] [sc:al content=”*face contorts*”] [sc:m content=”At least we’re good there.”] [sc:w content=”Look at the character for Mr. Bacon…it’s like it was drawn by someone to who they described as bacon, but who had never really seen it.”] [sc:al content=”BLaaaaagh…ugh…it’s…ugh.”] [sc:ap content=”Alright, let’s load Mel up.”] [sc:m content=”*puts toothpaste on the test brush*”] [sc:c content=”Put the normal amount on the brush!”] [sc:ap content=”Are we doing this here, or the bathroom?”] [sc:c content=”We gotta go – she needs at least a sink.”] [sc:m content=”Yeah, we’re going to have to go to the bathroom.”] [sc:c content=”You’re going to have to spit.”] [sc:m content=”Okay, lets go.”] [sc:al content=”*still gagging on the toothpaste*”] [sc:w content=”*reading the box* Brush teeth thoroughly. Preferably after each meal, or twice a day as directed by dentist or physician.”] [sc:m content=”*brushing*”]
[sc:c content=”Do you need to brush your teeth for real now?”] [sc:m content=”Yeah.”] [sc:ap content=”Trooper!”] [sc:m content=”What I really need now is a shot.”] [sc:m content=”It really did taste like brushing your teeth with ham.”] [sc:c content=”Like a shitty, dried up picnic ham?”] [sc:m content=”Yeah, like shitty, dried up ham. Also, I don’t think this prevents cavities.”] [sc:al content=”I don’t think I’m ever going to kiss her again…”] [sc:m content=”*Mel gets the super-top shelf tequila out*”] [sc:c content=”She’s going for it!”] [sc:al content=”Aww don’t follow it with that!!”] [sc:m content=”I need something. This is good. I can’t get rid of the flavour of bad ham.”] [sc:ap content=”Give the poor girl some top shelf liquor.”] [sc:m content=”*Crying* Come on, man! It’s horrible!”] [sc:al content=”*Pours a shot* I think it’s going to be a waste, but…”] [sc:m content=”*Clasping the shot glass* thank you.. *drinks* Oh God, this is so good.”] [sc:c content=”Is it getting rid of the flavour?”] [sc:m content=”*Nods, smiling* *Begins dipping her toothbrush in the tequila and brushing with it*”] [sc:c content=”… are you brushing your teeth with that? That’s very…Mexican?”] [sc:m content=”Oh, my god…OH, MY GOD…DON’T BRUSH WITH TEQUILA!!”] [sc:al content=”How would you think that would be anything but terrible?!”] [sc:al content=”*Gets Melissa a Freezie from the freezer*”] [sc:m content=”I think we should hunt the people who made this, down with my crossbow…”] [sc:al content=”OOH!! We forgot…”]

Will the dog eat it?

[sc:m content=”No, please, don’t give it to the dog.”] [sc:c content=”No, I think we all agree this is wrong.”] [sc:ap content=”Yeah, this is wrong…”] [sc:dog][sc:bubble content=”Yes, it was delicious! I don’t know what you guys were freaking out about!”]

Quote of the night: 

[sc:m content=”That’s only like the fourth time I’ve ever cried while brushing my teeth, but it’s the first time I cried because I was brushing my teeth.”]

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