Mr. Bacon’s Bacon Flavoured Toothpaste

Okay - toothpaste time.
 

*To Mel* now, before you brush your teeth, the rest of us should probably taste this.
 

*To Mel* Woah, are you going to be the one to actually brush?
 

Yeah.
 

Uggh. It smells NASTY.
 

It tastes... minty? But I didn't get very much of it.
 

That's gross...
 

Oh God, the smell.
 

The smell is rancid.
 

Woaaah.
 

Alright... *eats some*
 

*winces and grimaces with disgust*
 

AAHAHAHAHA! Either Allen is disgusted by it, or he's having a stroke.
 

I think the toothpaste has brought on a stroke.
 

The smell.. the smell is just terrible.
 

Mr. Bacon, what are you doing?
 

Alright, here we go...
 

Do it!
 

You should know, at this point that on the box it says 'Not for human consumption.'
 

Does it?
 

*grimaces*
 

Yes - we are not supposed to be eating this.
 

Expiration date, April 2015.
 

*face contorts*
 

At least we're good there.
 

Look at the character for Mr. Bacon...it's like it was drawn by someone to who they described as bacon, but who had never really seen it.
 

BLaaaaagh...ugh...it's...ugh.
 

Alright, let's load Mel up.
 

*puts toothpaste on the test brush*
 

Put the normal amount on the brush!
 

Are we doing this here, or the bathroom?
 

We gotta go - she needs at least a sink.
 

Yeah, we're going to have to go to the bathroom.
 

You're going to have to spit.
 

Okay, lets go.
 

*still gagging on the toothpaste*
 

*reading the box* Brush teeth thoroughly. Preferably after each meal, or twice a day as directed by dentist or physician.
 

*brushing*
 

Do you need to brush your teeth for real now?
 

Yeah.
 

Trooper!
 

What I really need now is a shot.
 

It really did taste like brushing your teeth with ham.
 

Like a shitty, dried up picnic ham?
 

Yeah, like shitty, dried up ham. Also, I don't think this prevents cavities.
 

I don't think I'm ever going to kiss her again...
 

*Mel gets the super-top shelf tequila out*
 

She's going for it!
 

Aww don't follow it with that!!
 

I need something. This is good. I can't get rid of the flavour of bad ham.
 

Give the poor girl some top shelf liquor.
 

*Crying* Come on, man! It's horrible!
 

*Pours a shot* I think it's going to be a waste, but...
 

*Clasping the shot glass* thank you.. *drinks* Oh God, this is so good.
 

Is it getting rid of the flavour?
 

*Nods, smiling* *Begins dipping her toothbrush in the tequila and brushing with it*
 

... are you brushing your teeth with that? That's very...Mexican?
 

Oh, my god...OH, MY GOD...DON'T BRUSH WITH TEQUILA!!
 

How would you think that would be anything but terrible?!
 

*Gets Melissa a Freezie from the freezer*
 

I think we should hunt the people who made this, down with my crossbow...
 

OOH!! We forgot...
 

Will the dog eat it?

No, please, don't give it to the dog.
 

No, I think we all agree this is wrong.
 

Yeah, this is wrong...
 

Yes, it was delicious! I don't know what you guys were freaking out about!
 

Quote of the night: 

That's only like the fourth time I've ever cried while brushing my teeth, but it's the first time I cried because I was brushing my teeth.
 

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