The Bacon Air Freshener

[sc:ap content=’Okay, look, Accoutrements – you need to fuck off.’] [sc:ap content=”I’ve eaten so many of your bacon products – if not the entire lineup by now – that I’m convinced that nobody in your company has ever actually tasted bacon. But why, then, do you think it would be a good idea to make a bacon air freshener?”] [sc:ap content=”Your idea of bacon flavour is vaguely smokey, salty, and mouldy gym shorts. Your idea of bacon smell is hardly better… Anyways, I digress.”] [sc:ap content=”I have the misfortune of being the one to try the bacon air freshener in my car for a week. It looked delicious – a picture of three good looking strips of bacon. I was skeptical but hopeful. That hope faded when I first got back into my car after hanging it. You see, it’s summer here and I drive a nice black car. The sun beats down on the car and the air freshener releases lots of its ‘freshness’.”

[sc:ap content=”Let me put it this way… for the full week, until the damned thing lost its odour, every time I got in my car I had to stop and think to myself ‘wow… did I fart just before I got out of here last?'”] [sc:ap content=”So, Accoutrements thinks that bacon smells like farts, or that farts smell like bacon. I’m not sure which is worse, but I’m glad the air freshener is no longer ‘freshening’ my air. A positive of the entire thing is that I’m now much more careful about venting the car after I fart.”]

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *