Accoutrements Bacon Toothpicks

So... shall we clean our teeth with the toothpicks?
 

I suppose.
 

Wait wait wait. Let's do it in order this time. Smell it first.
 

We're smelling wood?
 

Smell the toothpick.
 

Okay, we are now looking at bacon flavoured toothpicks.
 

Oh jesus. Okay, just let me say that these smells awful. These smell as bad as the hot chocolate smelled.
 

Awww man.
 

Now, to be fair, they also smell like every other Accoutrements product that we've tried.
 

Yeah.
 

Yeah.
 

Accoutrements - you should be on trial for whatever the fuck you're doing. I hate you.
 

Oh I know what this smell is! This smells like... medicinal cream that old people use before they die.
 

OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. It totally does!
 

That's what it is, man.
 

This is like Nivea cream.
 

No, Nivea is nice. Yeah, it's like...
 

Formaldehyde!
 

Lanisol. Like, aw fuck, anti-fungal cream.
 

It smells like monastat. I want to put this in my vagina and have it help to fight yeast infections.
 

No! No Mel!
 

You want to get a splinter?
 

I smelled the package while it was still wrapped in plastic, and it made me almost gag.
 

They're making my tongue go numb every time my tongue touches it.
 

It tastes like wood?
 

It tastes like it smells, and that's the first time that's happened with an Accoutrements product because.. I guess.. ugh..
 

It tastes kinda like the toothpaste.
 

No it doesn't.
 

*Spits out toothpick* I can't! Blegh! I wouldn't care if.. You know sometimes when you've got something stuck in your teeth and it's almost painful? If this was the only thing, like if all my teeth were saturated and crammed full of corn and this was the only thing to get it out, I would seriously consider not...
 

As a toothpick it's effective.
 

If I had shit in my mouth, and the only way to pry the log of shit out of my mouth was with this toothpick, I don't know what I'd choose.
 

Guys, I hope we put this on youtube and become youtube superstars like Hannah Hart.
 

I hear you get paid.
 

Yeah, if you do well enough they pay you.
 

Well as of today we have a whole cent of revenues from our advertising revenues.
 

Thanks Google!
 

One penny! WOOOP!
 

Making that sweet, sweet, bacon money!
 

After a while it stops tasting like it smells.
 

I don't even want to taste it.
 

The smell is so repugnant that the idea of smelling something that bad and then wanting to put it in your mouth...
 

You've never sucked a dick, have you?
 

Obviously not.
 

I've tried my own, but it just.. just.. you know.
 

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